AOG Podcast Episode 147: Celebrate Star Wars!

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Episode 147
This week, Kevin Custer joins Mike and Jarys to break down Star Wars Celebration! We’ll discuss the new Jurassic World trailer, and then go straight into what we saw at the convention, including Rogue One, a breakdown of the brand new Force Awakens trailer, whether Palpatine is pure evil or has more depth than that, and end with a spirited debate on whether Jar Jar Binks is responsible for the destruction of the Second Death Star!

The Aftermath of the Ace of Greeks Food Truck Invasion

Hey guys, Mike here.

Sorry I’ve been out of the loop all day. Jarys had be locked in my office, while they tried to convince me that partnering with a food truck was doing what was “best for business.” Thankfully, Raven managed to discover Shucky, the golem I secretly bought years ago on the black market in case Jarys ever needed to be stopped. He’s one of many last-ditch emergency measures that I have in place in case any of my staff goes Rogue. Did you know, for example, that Mae Linh can be defeated by a picture of a small cat, asleep on a bookshelf?

In addition, Kyle can be defeated with the application of a single sentence of logic. It’s just too much for him!

Now that the Ace of Geeks is firmly back within my control, I’ll be rolling back the changes on the site(s). Man, it sure is silly that we have two sites that you have to go back and forth between. If only there was a way to combine them into a simple, easy to use interface where all of the Ace of Geeks content could live. That would be such a dream.

Hey, unrelated note: Our 150th episode of the Ace of Geeks Podcast is coming soon.

Anyway, thanks to everybody who supported us in our delicious, delicious war. I’m off to eat some Potluck, but first I leave you with this thought:

Who did put the Bop in the Bop-Shu-Bop-Shu-Bop? They never answer that in the song.

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool’s silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three!
Part Four!
Part Five!
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight! (You Are Here)

Dying Words from the Toppling Feta Tower

All Citizen-Writers and Citizen-Readers are to heed this last dictum from the Editor-In-Chief.

Hours ago I, your Editor in Chief Jarys, marched in here as the Victor in a war with grim invaders. Though I shared their heritage, that of the enlightened minds of Athens and mighty warriors of Sparta, I was so loyal as to be able to walk among them without ever changing loyalties. Like the Roman Caesar, my heart was with my home, The Ace of Greeks. But, also like Caesar, I answered a call.. A call given to me by the populist lovers of Greek food, a call unheeded by the elitist Potluckers.

I answered the call to Unify this website, to unify us under one success, one vision, one lunch food provider, one Dictum. As I had defeated the Ace of Greeks, I, like the undefeatable Heracles, took the pelt of my lion and wore it, taking the Ace of Greeks name and their food truck. This painted me even more the unpopular usurper to the Elitist Potluckers. Their jealousy and thirst for chaos grew like a sickness. And that sickness has felled this great podcast and blog.

They won, but I’m not here to lament my own defeat. I’m here to lament the defeat…of unity.

Unity is togetherness, Unity is success and failure of the individual relying on the success and failure of the group. Unity is obedience to one set of values, one Editor in Chief.  Unity is all writers and all workers joining hands at the break table to eat lunch together, the same lunch, provided free by the Management, forever.

Unity is being paid for hard work. Paid for well written articles. Paid from the war-horde I have brought back from the Greek food truck business. I’d explain the legal precedence for that, but it’s very complicated. And I’ve just learned that I don’t really know complicated legal things. Consider it my Achilles heel. But enough about me….

Unity is a Golem of many parts, made by all hands, and pushed to the singular purpose of enforcing happiness and joy for better staff productivity….actually, “Unity” would have been a better name for that Golem. “Shmucky” is a poor reference to Yiddish culture, it’s kinda..disempowering. That doesn’t matter now. What matters is that now we fall. We fall together.

No?

Hold on, I’m being told that I’m the only one who is going to experience a downgrade in fortune. What do you mean, you’re going to fire me?…..Oh, well, since I’m still Editor-in- OH COME ON!
Back to the writing floor??? After what I just pulled, they’ll eat me ali- Oh you’re all full from Pita and Putluck Sushi? Ha ha, ok, Fine. No, I’m almost done anyway. I- am- almost- GAH give that back!

Thank you.

I suppose, loyal subje-fellow Ace of Gree-Ace of Geeks, excuse me. I suppose this is goodbye. We had a good run. I hope you enjoyed your paychecks, which were ProRated for the few hours of work you accomplished while I was in charge. So…don’t spend it all in one place. Ok, Ok, I’m going, I’m going.Sheesh!

*grumbles*I just wanted to help out more around here.  I didn’t even get to try the pita…

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool’s silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three!
Part Four!
Part Five!
Part Six!
Part Seven! (You Are Here)
Part Eight!

The Geeks Are Going To War! (or: The Last March of the Geeks)

I’m writing this in a maintenance closet… I hope it gets out… I hope I’m not too late…

Jarys came back from his mission and immediately called a meeting in the middle of the Editor’s room. We all gathered there, and they made a very rousing speech about how we needed to band together and strike the keys hard and fast to spread the word – The Ace of Geeks is now under new management! He changed the name of the blog to “The Ace of Greeks,” with Mike’s full support! I couldn’t believe it! What the hell was going on?

Jarys waved a bunch of papers and said that they are now in charge, and we need to buckle down if we expect to get paid. More news about the latest gadgets and gizmos, more dice rolling, more topics in discussion on the audio podcasts. Tighter deadlines and everything has to pass his desk before being published or posted on the podcast. Then they said it – “BETTER CONTENT, GODDAMMIT – THERE WILL BE TOPIC ASSIGNMENTS DAILY!”

Cheers went up from the Greek food truck freeloaders, and the Rebel Potluckers all dashed back to the break room. We locked the door, and barricaded it with the Xerox machine. People started asking what the next step was – clearly, we were going to war.

Doris from the mail room (good ol’ granny Doris, bless her heart) was looking at the whiteboard while she ate some sashimi. She insisted that we go forward with our plans to convert the food truck into a taco truck, and everyone agreed.

Norman from the audio room went up to the whiteboard and continued outlining his plan for us all. Then he gave squad assignments – Tony, Ross and Aurelio from Motor-pool were to set their shop up for the quick conversion. Clarice from the Art department was to get her crew and start designing the paint job for the truck. Our courier Ansel was to go steal the truck and bring it back here through the back garage entrance. The cafeteria workers said they would staff the taco truck when it was ready.

My job was to go and try to shut Jarys down once and for all – this crap was getting out of hand, and we were running out of mashed potatoes. So while everyone else went to their assigned stations and began their missions, I peeked out the narrow window of the break room door.

I was startled when a golem popped up and peered back at me. “Hi! My name’s Schmucky – wanna play?” it said. I got chills. I now understood exactly what had to happen. I moved the Xerox machine, opened the door, and yanked Schmucky in. I got help to set the barricade up again, and I grabbed two of the other bloggers – Derek and Ruby – who didn’t have assignments yet. I told them to stay with me and follow my lead.

We took Schmucky out the back door, and took the hall out to the elevator lobby. “Now, listen up, you schmuck -” “My Name’s Schmucky! Wanna play?” Ruby glared at Schmucky. I sighed, and continued. “Look, golem – if you wanna play, you need to work with us. Understand?” The golem nodded. “Good. you’re gonna love this game…” I sent Schmucky in to the Editing room, and we watched as Schmucky carried out the instructions I gave him. He jumped on Jarys’ back, and gleefully shouted “Yay! Schmucky WINS!”

All hell broke loose as Jarys tried to get Schmucky off their back. Mike dodged the flying pitas, and we ran into the Editing room. Ruby snatched the documents out of Jarys’ hand, and ran back to the break room with Derek and myself following her quickly, covering our retreat.

Back in the break room, we handed the documents over to Frenchy from Legal. “Can they do this?!” I asked. I was mad! Goddammit, I wanted my burgers and tacos back. I mean, getting paid is nice, but money isn’t everything. And I certainly didn’t like the idea of not getting to pick my own topic. Frenchy read through the documents. “Well… it seems pretty straightforward – yes, they can do this.. Wait! I found a loophole!”

We all waited with bated breath as Frenchy looked some more. Then he announced,”Yes! It can be done.” He whipped out his cell phone, and made a call to his personal contracts attorney, and they spoke for a few minutes. When he ended the call, he made a note on the top sheet of the documentation and handed it to me. “Go to that address, and talk to my guy. He’ll help. He has to… He’s our only hope…”

I ran down the back hall to the elevator lobby and hit the “down” button. While I was waiting, I peeked around  a corner to see if anyone else was coming. I could see the AoG circulation desk clearly, and Lina was sitting there. She looked up and saw me. She got up and yelled, “One’s getting away!” The elevator chimed and the doors whooshed open. I got in, and mashed the “door close” button for all I was worth. The doors closed, and I hit the “G” button. When the elevator got me to the ground floor, I bolted out of the building. I ran like a bat out of hell for two blocks to the address that Frenchy had given me.

When I entered the offices of Dante Randall Esquire, I went to the reception desk. “Quick! I have an appointment! Which way?” The receptionist started checking her book. “Name?” “No time! Which way?” I yelled. She started to say something about I can’t go in without a confirmed appointment, but the phone rang. She answered it, and I sped off down the hall. “That would have been a stupid conversation anyway,” I muttered as I looked for the attorney’s office. I found it and barged in.

A big man in a small suit was sitting at an over-sized desk. I babbled at him – “Frenchy sent me – you’re here to rescue us!” He blinked. “You’re a little… short… for a blogger, aren’t you? Nevermind. Frenchy told me what you need.” He pulled out some paperwork form a drawer, and handed it to me. Getting up, he said “I’ll come with you to back you up. We will need to get both Jarys AND Mike’s signatures on these if Mike decides that he really does want things back how they were.” I was dumbfounded. Now we would have to convince Mike that he needed to come over to the potlucker’s table. Okaaay. No problem…

We walked back to the Ace of Geeks office building, took the freight elevator up, and went to the break room. I told the cafeteria staff to get down to Motor-pool and set up the truck as soon as it was ready. I asked Doris to go take a plate of sashimi (somehow they had managed to procure some VERY fresh ahi) prepared for Mike. She sliced that fish like nobody’s business.

The attorney and I moved the Xerox machine. I looked around the room, and sighed. “If we don’t come back, keep going forward with the plan!” We took Doris by the arms, and led her into the Editing room. We sent her to Mike with the plate of fresh sashimi. The attorney and I walked behind her. When he took the plate from Doris, I told him “We want you to know something…” The attorney explained about the loophole in the legal arrangements Jarys had made.

“Mike, they’re trying to do a hostile takeover and cut you out. I don’t care WHAT they promised you, you need to look at this!” Mike stood up and followed us back to the break room, plate in hand. He perused the documents that Jarys had drawn up, and got miffed. He shook his head. ” No… NOOOOO!” The attorney handed Mike the new documents, and then he pulled something else out of his briefcase – a new set of documents requiring only one signature – Mike’s. “With these, you can block this take-over AND have a taco truck.”

“Tacos? Cool cool!” Mike looked over everything, and asked Frenchy to take a look. Frenchy concurred that it would be in the blog’s best interests. Mike signed the documents, and we breathed a sigh of relief. Now it was time to take the blog back. I collected the documentation and grabbed the lawyer, and went to confront Jarys.

As we entered the room, we were met with stares and mutterings. People guarded their Greek salads. I walked up to Jarys’ desk, and I looked them in the eye. “You can’t do this. We want our freakin’ tacos, dammit!”

A loud ruckus was heard from the street outside, and a nicely painted taco truck pulled up. The cafeteria staff inside started slinging tacos, burritos and enchilada plates at all comers. Jarys went to the window. “You think you can block me this easily, girl? Try again,” they said with a sneer as they lobbed a typo-ridden article draft at me. “Fix THIS!”

I snatched it out of mid-air, and quickly looked it over. I went to a computer, edited it, and printed it. “Done. We WILL have our tacos.” I waved my hand, and people started running out to the taco truck, leaving their gyros and salads behind. I showed Jarys the paperwork blocking their take-over. “You weren’t very thorough in your legal planning, Jarys. We found a loophole. The blog is ours!” Jarys spat some legal babblication at me, but the attorney neatly deflected it with an addendum. “Jarys, you have no legal leg to stand on. Your Greek food truck is closed! And your days as tyrant are OVER!” I grabbed a pen. Stuffing it into their clenched fist, I forced them to sign the addendum. I jumped up on his desk and faced the bloggers left in the room. “We still work for Mike – and for free, but at least we have TACOS!”

I handed the paperwork to the attorney, and he dashed off to get it filed. Jarys attempted to follow, but I shut the door in their face and ran for the maintenance closet. Now we wait for the filing. I left Doris in there… I hope she’s alright…

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool’s silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three!
Part Four!
Part Five!
Part Six! (You Are Here)
Part Seven!
Part Eight!

Words from the Home Front

It smells like dolmas here.

It all happened so suddenly, with such overwhelming activity, that I scarcely recall a day without the thumb of our lamb-trimming overlords held firmly upon our throats.  Our office was occupied in the scant time it took a strange cease-and-desist letter to turn into complete conquest of our humble blog and podcast.

Hmm? What’s that?

MalKontent says it’s only been a few hours.  I don’t believe him.  I don’t for a second.  The droop in his tails tells me more about our captivity than any words ever can.

I’ve been fighting to keep my spirits up.  I’ve been made to do all sorts of heinous acts since the violent change in leadership.  Check out this awesome baklava shaped like Serenity.  Square Enix announces they’ll be adding fully-articulated yogurt to Final Fantasy XV, because it was easier to animate than women in real clothes.  28 Scenes in Star Wars that would have been improved with moussaka.  John Barrowman eating a gyro will blow your mind, and you won’t believe what he does next.

I’m starting to become numb with terrible clickbait headlines, and the memory of what it was like to write upstanding pieces about geek culture seems ever farther, farther away.

It always smells like dolmas here.

I haven’t seen Jarys in forever.  They seemed like the only chance we had of shaking off this yoke, of turning the tables on our clever corporate food truck oppressors.  I ducked into a hasty, clandestine meeting late after writing another “My Little Pony set to include Twilight Souvlaki in upcoming season” article and saw them in a poignant, fraternal sort of embrace with a certain gravity that made the loukaniko I’d been force-fed for lunch drop into the pit of my stomach.

I haven’t seen Jarys since then.  I don’t know what to think.

The rest of us move in a daze between assignments, never knowing what terrible headline or edict or lunch menu will be handed down next.  I don’t know where my next meal is coming from…but I always seem to know its country of origin.  The office seems a stark shade of black and white, as though all the glorious colors of the Power Rangers figures on Mike’s desk have faded from my vision.

I think I heard Mark and Thomas say they planned to sneak out and return with food.  Food without tzatziki or tahini.  I wish them fortune.

I’m far too scared to try it myself.

It always smells like dolmas here.

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool’s silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three!
Part Four!
Part Five! (You Are Here)
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight!

Update: Agent in the Field

There’s been a bit of buzz in the Ace of Geeks break room about one of the editors going undercover inside the food truck. From what I’ve gathered, the mission is to take over the food truck and put an end to what some have been calling “the Souvlaki Invasion.”

There have been reports coming in of disturbances across town. According to our correspondents and eyewitnesses at that scene, they say a war has erupted with Greek mayo-based sauces and dessert foods flying everywhere. People have been taking shelter in city parking garages and local Starbucks coffee shops.

Back here at the Ace of Geeks break room, I’ve noticed that the crowd around the potluck table has grown a bit. The line at the slow-cooker of chili is getting longer, and more food has appeared on the table – cookies, cakes, and pies along with liter bottles and six-packs of soda, as well as Chinese and Cajun dishes.

There appears to have been a chain of command established, as well – those in charge of the hot dishes are serving, and a whiteboard has appeared on the wall, with a map of the city tacked up to it. I recognized one of the staffers from the line at the food truck, and asked what made him come to the potluck instead. He said that he was sick of Baklava and wanted Lo Mein – “The soy sauce is strong with this one,” he told me.

One blogger is at the whiteboard, outlining the plan to take down the food truck. It seems to involve converting it into a taco truck. A lot of people have expressed interest in this plan, with some bloggers offering their skills in mechanics and body work.Their main focus right now seems to be waiting for word from the operative in the field, and planning their attack strategy.

An announcement just came over the PA that the rebellion’s mole has done his damage and is returning to base – we’ll have more on that as it becomes available.

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool’s silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three!
Part Four! (You Are Here)
Part Five!
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight!

Operation: Golden Apple

When the Greek food started showing up, everyone started eyeballing me, like, just because my ancestors built the Acropolis means I can summon the pita of my people at any time. Racist! We Greek immigrants have many supernatural powers, but that is NOT one of them. Anyway, the dolmas were fantastic, just like my dad used to fix, but I could still taste the barely hidden mayonnaise of Corporate dominance. Only a Marketing Focus Group would put mayo in Dolmas. It is the flavor of coercion!

Six hours later, after a particularly bad Mouthoulakes binge (oh the honeyed goodness), I stormed into the editor’s office, throwing the doors open before me in a gale of disturbed papers and maps.

“This Greek food thing is a corporate takeover that has got to be stopped!”  I bellowed, dramatically.

“We…know,” explained Mike indicating the gathered staff members planning our next move. Or maybe he was indicating that I had Tzatziki on the corner of my mouth. Either way, I wiped my mouth as he continued. It appeared that Eli Black had translated the mysterious note. Our “friendly food truck” was revealed as a Trojan Horse, filled with invaders! (Which is ironic.) “We’ve been wracking our brains over their completely implausible ability to buy us…and what we can do about it.”

“We need a way in,” I said, pretty much taking whatever this plan was before I entered and making it about me. “And I’m your agent. I am a third generation Greek myself. I know their ways, what the language vaguely sounds like. And I hold…the Jarys Factor.”

I could tell by the look of annoyance given to me by one of the writers that she needed me to elaborate on this most mysterious subject. It could also mean that I had rudely interrupted the previous conversation.  I felt a hot flash of embarrassment, but then realized that this could make my point.The awkward silence of my discontinued thought would also help.

Shooting her what I hope was a look of apology, I went on: “As you can see, I have a unique ability to sow chaos in any situation I join. In high school I was known as Jarys, Conversation-Ender. As you just saw, my interruptions sow chaos…though I don’t MEAN to interrupt, I just get really excited and…’ Another look of apology, this time to the room in general. “It’s not just my interruptions either, I’ve been at the center of a number of disasters my whole life, mostly remaining unharmed. I never knew how to control it until I started studying the Principia Discordia. Since then I’ve been able to contain it-“

“-Barely” came a whispered point from the depths of the crowd of faces around the editors table, followed by a covering cough.

“Right, fine, barely. But my point is that I’m a Greek, so I have an in, and I’m a weapon of disaster. You should use me! Let me insert myself into their organization, and I can disrupt it from the inside. That’s what I did, accidently, to the Jedi Knight gaming clan I joined in the early Oughts. And to my friend’s LARP….and….”

“Ok, ok,” Allowed Mike. “It’s better, by which I mean more legal, than our other plans. Unless anyone has any objections to sending Jarys into the belly of the beast, I say, have at!”  He looked around the room while people shuffled uncomfortably. We were a family of a sort, but I know more than a few of them have felt and disliked my frenetic effect. Should they risk losing me deep in enemy territory or risk keeping me here where my Chaos Field might make things worse…I felt my phone vibrate as my girlfriend’s sixth sense told her she needed to talk me out of doing something. She was very convincing, so I couldn’t risk exposing my resolution to her patient logic. I hit “send to voicemail”

Noting the silence around the room, I caught Mike’s eye and nodded. “Go with Buddha.” He said in encouragement.

“That doesn’t make any se-“

“Shut up and hug me.” As we embraced I felt him slip a poorly cooked McDonald’s sausage patty into my pocket. A cyanide pill for a Pescatarian like me. Mike really was a loyal friend.

                                                                   ************
I won’t over excite you with all the details of my insertion. There were car chases, scaling rooftops, filling out the I9, going over the W4, making friends with Cheryl who covers accounting,  It only took a few hours, and I was in here like a measles in a kid enjoying Disneyland. I didn’t even need to know the language, most of the kids running this start-up are second and third generation, like me. They have quite a vision here, too bad it’s a vision….of evil.

I placed myself where I could do the most damage, as a food truck driver. I had to lie on the application and falsify a drivers license, but after coming in with the fake identity Calvin Hobbesopoulos, I wasn’t going to sweat the small crimes. In case you don’t know, I’m blind enough that…well it’s not that I can’t drive. The DMV has threatened to slap me with endangerment if I do drive. Thus the false identity.

You haven’t seen a real mess until you’ve seen the high pressure spigot on a 40 gallon tzatziki tank crack open in the middle of a four lane, four corner intersection. First responders were rolling and slipping on falafel balls, young children grabbing at  scattered Bakalava were getting stuck to each other and random objects. Tzatziki spray was covering the surrounding cars in a white tangy mess. it would have been a shame, but I know they put mayo in there, so it’s all crap, anyway. Controlled disaster was a success; no one was hurt, and the record with the driver-roster was mysteriously dropped in olive oil. Revenge is delicious, but I was not done yet.

Back at the Ace of Greeks headquarters, I let myself in to several important disaster response meetings. The boys in corporate were just now figuring out what I had done to Legal. You see, I mentioned that Greeks have a number of supernatural powers, and that much is true, but I had not told you that I had a specialty in one: inspiring homosexual attraction. I never figured out how to make MYSELF the target of such lust (much to the chagrin of my past single self), but I didn’t need to here. The Ace of Greeks Legal Division was made up of two women who had been working with one another for over a year. My highly tuned gaydar told me that they were both around .6 or .7 on the Kinsey scale, so I gave them a full blast of the my particular portion of the Greek legacy while supposedly looking for more staples. I hadn’t left the room for a minute before that bolt locked and those two had a LOT of lost time to catch up on. I’m going to come clean here, I can’t make something out of nothing. I was lucky the two lawyers had a flame they had been hiding from eachother for me to throw kerosine on.

Leaving my blessings and a hastily markered sign asking for privacy, I ensured that the Legal department would be on holiday for the foreseeable future.

So back to those meetings. As I had previously demonstrated, I’m very good at creating silences. I discovered in high school that all I had to do was enter a conversation with my best contribution to stop the social wheels in their tracks. It was very embarrassing, but good at being memorable. By the end of today, I intended to make the name Calvin Hobbesopoulos clear in the memories of every employee at the Ace of Greeks. It only took thirty minutes for me to tell it was working. My false identity had the air of a ghost. I was rushing about so much, a single person would barely see me, but my name was always on the lips in the conference room I just left:

“I don’t know what Calvin is thinking, now’s not a time to introduce olive oil flavored soda…”

“That Calvin sure is go-getter. Have you seen this five page business plan? It tastes delicious!”

“Calvin says that Legal is taking some much needed time off, which explains why their phones are disconnected. But that doesn’t explain how our bussiness card was charged seven hundred dollars for flower delivery to their office!”

“- I don’t care what ADD is, if Calvin doesn’t stop interrupting me, I’ll feed them this goddamned powerpoint presentation. Where are they???”

Operation: Golden Apple was a success.

                                                 **********

On the bus ride back to our publishing house, I took out the legal papers granting ownership of the Ace of Geeks. All other copies had been turned in to Origami My Little Pony characters and entered in to a Brony Cultural Heritage museum, which meant the document in my hands gave the bearer complete control over our small media house.

I began to think of the parties they’d hold for me when I brought this back, being lifted on people’s shoulders for a few runs around the office while I tried to duck out of the way of fans and AC equipment….But I didn’t want that kind of glamor….no. I would come back a hero of the people and I intended to spend that political capital immediately. I was going to give Mike what he deserved; a vacation from Editor-in-Chiefing. He could kick back, focus on the parts of the job he found most fun. I could give him back that sausage patty, let him know, I never let things get as bad as that fast food meat was going. He’d cry tears of joy when I’d tell him to put his feet up and let me do the hard stuff. I thought of my girlfriend, who was probably apoplectic trying to get ahold of me all day while i’ve been in secret agent-of-chaos mode. I had to be more responsible, now that I was joining a team of two, living with another person. Sowing Discord is fine and good in your twenties. I’m 30 now, I have to be more responsible, like my hero from Legend of Korra…Kuvira (she’s dreamy).

I had a vision, this Site/podcast has run off the rails for too long, with no money to pay our writers, no ad revenue, no massive attraction of readers and listeners. But all that was about to change. I would bring the people what they wanted: Nanotechnology news, Monk-Class focus on our D&D coverage, Mage: the Ascension correspondence for days and days. Everyone would love our new cuddly mascot, Shmucky the Golem! And who could turn down adamant, enlightened, and clear leadership. The sort of Editor you can’t say no to. A Joe Quesada style leadership. We weren’t a website any more….we were a boot stamping down on the face of unnerdiness for all eternity….

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool’s silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two!
Part Three! (You Are Here)
Part Four!
Part Five!
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight!

Breaking news: Ace of Geeks under Food Truck Thrall?

An influx of amazingly delicious Greek food has been hitting desks throughout the offices of The Ace of Geeks. A new food truck has shown up outside, and has been delivering free food since this morning, when we broke back into our offices. Some have started to wonder about that, as everyone knows – there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Our correspondent down on the street has been interviewing people all day, and some of the things they have been saying are very positive – most have recommended the gyros, although there are many more menu items that are available as well.

I’m a bit concerned about this, though. There seems to be an overabundance of staffing in this little food truck, and many of the Ace of Geeks blog staff have stopped complaining about eating at the crappyteria cafeteria. I am also suspicious of the copious amounts of manouri and kasseri cheeses, and gallons of tzatziki. There is also a faction of bloggers who are resisting the call of the gyro. They have been gathering around a table in the break room in a rebellious display of potluck. Included in their dishes are chili, beef stew, corned beef and cabbage, sushi, and fresh sashimi.

It would seem that the free deliveries and menu prices at the food truck are a little too good to be true, as many have opted to order lunch instead of bring it from home like they would usually do. I’ve been roaming the halls here all day, and I’ve already seen some animosity flare up between the potluckers and the food truck patrons – challenges like home-made peach cobbler versus bougatsa from the food truck.

Peach Cobbler 
VS
Bougatsa

We’ll stay on top of this developing situation, and keep you informed of any changes.

UPDATE: As you may have guessed, this was part of our April Fool’s silliness yesterday. Go check out the rest of the story here:

Part One!
Part Two! (You are Here)
Part Three!
Part Four!
Part Five!
Part Six!
Part Seven!
Part Eight!