quicktime win

Homeland Security Warns Windows Users to Kill Quicktime

Homeland Security’s conveniently named United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team (shortened to US-CERT, which is hardly better) has put out a warning to all Windows Users of Apple’s Quicktime. Two new bugs have been discovered in the software by the Department, bugs which create vulnerabilities in Windows systems. These bugs allow executables to be installed on Windows systems while connected to malicious sites. The only solution, the Department suggested, is to immediately uninstall Quicktime.

Though extreme, this is an inevitable consequence of Apple ceasing its support for the program, unfortunately after releasing the patch that contained these bugs. While Apple has not made a full comment, the company joins the Government in urging Windows users to delete their product. Having checked this information with the Department of Homeland Security and Snopes, we at the Ace of Geeks have made sure Quicktime is deleted or long since deleted.


Jarys Maragopoulos
Jarys Maragopoulos grew up in the suspiciously isolated Ojai valley. Having acted in about a dozen plays as a child, including radio comedy routines, Jarys escaped with a College acceptance letter they had forged out of a hallmark card and octopus Ink. They rode the trains and learned the way of the hobos until arriving at the idyllic city of San Francisco, home to Jarys' dreams. At the University of San Francisco, where they won a Bachelors in History from the Dean in a Kung Fu match, Jarys met their two best friends and stopped blushing when they told people their favorite movie was “Return of the Jedi”. Since that time Jarys has earned their teaching credential (without resorting to thaumaturgy), collected a small library, learned Sumerian, and fell in love.
That list is not causal, they promise.

[Jarys is Genderqueer and, consequently, uses they/their/them pronouns.]

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